Balancing Energy: The Key to Thriving in Love & Work. A Conversation with Gunjani Patel. (Epi. #184)

Balancing Energy The Key to Thriving in Love and Work. A Conversation with Gunjani Patel. (Epi. #184)

Bio:
Gunjani is a highly sought-after transformation expert with over 16 years of experience. As a licensed mental health therapist, certified Law of Attraction & success coach, and holistic healer, she combines modern psychology and ancient healing techniques to empower clients to achieve personal and professional success. Specializing in mindset and Law of Attraction coaching, Gunjani holds certifications in Trauma-Informed Breathwork, NLP, EMDR, Reiki, and hypnotherapy. With a mission to guide individuals toward lasting transformation, Gunjani helps clients gain clarity, set realistic goals, and take inspired action to overcome obstacles and succeed. Through personalized coaching, group mindfulness, hypnotherapy, and energy healing sessions, she guides her clients toward lasting transformation.

Gunjani's Social Links:
Instagram -  https://www.instagram.com/holisticanxietycoach/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/groups/holisticanxietycoach

Gunjani is offering:

• 10x speed of manifestations - https://consciouslyliving.co/dmp
• Advanced Healing - https://consciouslyliving.co/advancedhealing
• Manifest your dream life and achieve 5 years of goals in 1 year - https://gunjani.myflodesk.com/masterclass

✨ Feeling the pull to pivot from corporate, but unsure where to start? ✨

 I help high-achieving women create the runway to pivot in the next 6 to 9 months from corporate to a profitable, aligned business in the wellness or creative space using my Amplify Authentically™ process

DM me #AMPLIFY ON IG https://www.instagram.com/omni.mindfulness/ OR https://www.linkedin.com/in/shilpashukla/

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Shilpa Lewis: for returning. 

[00:00:06] Shilpa Lewis: I am so happy to be here. I love being, I love this show. First of all, like Omni and it reminds me of your son, but it's just such a delight to every time show up on your show and be myself and do a chit chat with you. And it ends up being so fun. So thank you so much for having me here.

[00:00:23] Shilpa Lewis: Absolutely. And be yourself. In fact, just before I was about to hit record and getting ready for this recording, I thought I can chill. It's mine. I'm a returning guest slash friend, and I feel like I can be myself around you. 

[00:00:40] Gunjani Patel: A hundred percent. A hundred percent. Love, love the show. Love what you do with it.

[00:00:43] Gunjani Patel: Love how you, your show impacts the world. And it's just nice to be back in and, and love that your show is absolutely in alignment with who I am. So it's just a great conversation every single time I come in. 

[00:00:56] Gunjani Patel: And there is the absolute alignment. Now, the theme of this [00:01:00] particular podcast series is crafting life's energy.

[00:01:03] Gunjani Patel: For flow and I believe you are truly in alignment with this topic and share with the audience That you've now recently further Fine tuned your focus as a coach and what that is 

[00:01:21] Gunjani Patel: So my story basically starts with, I, like, I'll give you an example of last year, last year, I invested in myself big time, because as I was pivoting, the coach part comes later, but I've always been a mental health therapist, I've been a mental health therapist for 16 years of my life, and I have all these other added certifications to it.

[00:01:42] Gunjani Patel: So it's like, I know all the things that I truly am a big believer of social, um, you know, personal and spiritual development. And I truly think that, you know, either like I've been through so much in my life and I help my clients with post traumatic growth. My specialty was trauma, depression, anxiety, [00:02:00] relationships, um, attachment and somatic healing, nervous system healing.

[00:02:04] Gunjani Patel: So what I've found is that. doing my own work, it has taught me two things. One, it either we're forced to change because we just come up against our ceiling and, or we can keep raising our ceiling and, you know, make the last ceiling our floor and continue to grow and evolve and, you know, You know, pivot, because that's what our soul is here to do.

[00:02:29] Gunjani Patel: Um, so my journey into coaching came into, and it's almost coming full circle at this point in 2024, but it started in 2019. I was going through one of the most difficult times in my relationship, um, as we know that every relationship at some point, when we, when it starts moving into a commitment phase, it goes through conflicts.

[00:02:51] Gunjani Patel: And I was going through a lot of conflicts in my marriage. I almost didn't make it based on my weight and attachment, where I was like, I should just get divorced. Life is so hard. And then I was like, no, I'm going [00:03:00] to work through this. I teach this to couples. I meet people. I get to heal and I get to work through this and that really felt empowering and I started working on myself.

[00:03:07] Gunjani Patel: I was also coming out of postpartum anxiety and all the different things that were happening in my life that was just truly, I had to work through my unworthiness wounds. I had to work through and who am I really now that I've gone through all these big changes. I had gotten married. My mother in law moved in with us.

[00:03:23] Gunjani Patel: She had MS, so she had disability. And then I had a child the following year and it was just. Back to back to back big changes, and in that process, I was raised with people pleasing behavior. So it was like I took care of everybody else and poured out of an empty bucket and then I just felt so much resentment and The exact opposite of what not being in or living life from the state of flow looks like, you know, and I really had to look in and figure out something needs to change.

[00:03:52] Gunjani Patel: And in that interim, as I was scrolling through Instagram one day when I dropped my son off to school, he was two years old, I still remember very vividly. [00:04:00] And I was, that was my first time on Instagram after being off it forever. Like that was, I created my, I don't know what inspired me to create it, that account, but I created it and I was going through it and I saw a friend of friends.

[00:04:12] Gunjani Patel: She was 30 and she had died by suicide. And that literally was a wake up call for me. Like, wow. I could literally see in her eyes that. Wow, this could be me. This is exactly how I feel right now. I feel so lost. I feel lack of purpose. Yes, I'm seeing clients, but I feel burnt out. And I was literally, I was in a place of just, I literally had to park my car on the side of the road.

[00:04:35] Gunjani Patel: And I was just like, my mascara all over the place, just bawling my eyes out. And then I went to my husband and I saw it. This could have been, this could be me. Like I need to do something with my life and I need to figure it out because otherwise I just can't keep living like this. It feels day in and day out, taking care of everybody else and just self betraying and self abandoning didn't lead to the greatest things.

[00:04:57] Gunjani Patel: And then I taught myself, I taught [00:05:00] to myself. My private practice is great, but there is something in me, like I need to live in integrity. I need to show up as, you know, my, I've hit my ceiling. What is my next page? What is my next chapter? And as a result, I started exploring into that. Just taking care of myself first and I then taking care of myself led to my relationship thriving over the time we learned to, I started applying.

[00:05:28] Gunjani Patel: I was so close to it that I couldn't even see it. It was, it was like almost like we were living like roommates and I was just like, wow, like we are so lost in this process. So I went back to my drawing board and I was like, okay, who do I want to be? Who am I? What are my values? Who am I now after, now that I'm a mother, I'm a daughter in law, I'm a wife, all the things that, Happened so quickly and I didn't even get a chance to sort of sit back and reflect and I did that and it led into me then pivoting into coaching world because then 2020 happened and all the things that I had recently [00:06:00] worked through in my relationships in my um Attachment wounding, my fear of rejection, my fear of abandonment, my fear of, fear of just how will Avik's life turn out.

[00:06:10] Gunjani Patel: I have to be constantly present and on and not, you know, I feel guilty for not, for taking care of myself. At this point, I would tell my younger self differently, but at that time, that's what I believed for. That's who I showed up as and I didn't know how to regulate my emotions at the time, how to regulate my nervous system.

[00:06:27] Gunjani Patel: So it was hard. It was very tough. And then in 2020, it was just like, okay, when pandemic hit, we were like, okay, we are finally in a place where we are not struggling and chasing and just in a very hard place, like I had manifested the life that we live now today, I would say, but it was just, um, It taught me a lot of lessons.

[00:06:50] Gunjani Patel: It taught me that when I relinquished control and surrendered, the, the flow of energy was always going through me as me, and it was available to me. I was just [00:07:00] not tapped in because I was so much tapped into the pain, the struggles, the lack of clarity, the confusion that I didn't know what was happening.

[00:07:06] Gunjani Patel: And that led to beautiful things. And it led to pivoting because all the people that would come to me, I'm like, what, where are we, where did we go wrong as a society? Like my private practice was thriving at that point. I had waitlist of people, but then I was like, you know, why is it that we are struggling to live as couples in the same household and in like being not having social connection, struggling with our kids and all the things that the pandemic brought up in terms of mental health.

[00:07:36] Gunjani Patel: And that's, I was like, I want to help more people. I want to serve more people. I'm called deeply. Two, I'm grateful that we both work remotely. I'm grateful that we don't have to leave our kid with our nanny. I'm grateful that I have two of my sister in laws who now helps us with my mother in law. We have basic necessities, meds.

[00:07:55] Gunjani Patel: We have food. We are safe. We're healthy. We have the money. So, we're happy. [00:08:00] Where can we serve? What can we do? How can we help people? How can we, you know, how can I hold space for people to go through some of the same things I went through? And then when I healed it, I was on the other side, but I wanted to walk people through that.

[00:08:12] Gunjani Patel: So, 

[00:08:12] Gunjani Patel: yeah. What you've expressed and articulated to me sounds like expansion, not only on a metaphysical level, but also on a career level, because we are all, I can say for myself, we're continually evolving. Growing and evolving testing along the works because last time I spoke to you, um, you had a, not a different niche, but a focus that you were still refining upon.

[00:08:45] Gunjani Patel: Yeah. Yeah. You could expand it. Now, what I was joking about before I hit record. Your focus is on relationships, but it turns out that solopreneurs may [00:09:00] actually be in a relationship, right? And I can share for you that the level of stress that one goes through in being an entrepreneur can affect multiple areas.

[00:09:13] Gunjani Patel: And it could be even if you're still working in corporate on a professional level or any other institution. That work and relationships outside of home can affect your relationships at home. 

[00:09:29] Shilpa Lewis: 100%. And 

[00:09:31] Gunjani Patel: we have to re evaluate, at least for myself, your why. Now, maybe you can share this. Go, let's zero in on the why of what it means to give your relationship that energy.

[00:09:48] Shilpa Lewis: Um, you know, I, like I said, I'm, because I, the, the first few years of my marriage taught me that either pain was going to force me to change or I was going to stay ahead of the [00:10:00] pain. And, you know, I have nothing, I have, there's nothing wrong with pain and discomfort. I'm all about it because I feel like it helps us grow and expand.

[00:10:09] Shilpa Lewis: But when we get stuck in the suffering of the pain, I mean, we get stuck in the pain, it leads to suffering and I think that's optional. We can, there are ways to work through the pain. To not get stuck in that, um, and the way it showed up for me in my relationship was, it, it, it If I didn't, so every year, like I said, you know, now, since then, I was like, I was going to stay ahead of my game and work my relationship.

[00:10:36] Shilpa Lewis: So I sat back and I started writing after like every year now, since then I've made it in my ritual. Where my partner and I sit and literally make a vision list for our relationship. We write down like on the scale of 0 to 10, where are we at? And this is what I also teach for relationships because it's like as a dating coach, I'm very big on date yourself first.

[00:10:58] Shilpa Lewis: So you can, you are the first relationship [00:11:00] you have. If you don't have the greatest relationship with yourself, then it bleeds into your other relationships, no matter what relationship it is, whether it's friendship, a partnership or romantic relationship or your other relationships. But for any For our relationship, that's one of the things that I have made a ritual to do, where it's like, okay, we write down our vision list, like, what, on the scale of zero to 10, where are we at?

[00:11:23] Shilpa Lewis: 10 is like, we are exceeding our expectations, zero being, oh my goodness, like, we are really abusing each other, not even like, we should have left the relationship, it's really worse. You know, so I was like, okay, let's sit down and talk about that. And then we, my biggest thing, it's like, okay, what is our vision?

[00:11:40] Shilpa Lewis: Like what, what are our self limiting beliefs? We, why did we give ourselves the score we did? What are our beliefs around it? What are our emotions around it? What is being at a 10 around it? So having those deeper conversations helps us be in a place of. Oh, like this is what we get to look at. And then not just the vision, but then what actions are we going to put in place?

[00:11:59] Shilpa Lewis: [00:12:00] It's like, it's great to have all the vision and all the thought and all the things that we consume, but it's like, how are we implementing and showing up in the relationship is what is more important, you know? So it's like, we have this, we have to repair after conflicts. There's so much that goes in a relationship that Nobody taught us, right?

[00:12:16] Shilpa Lewis: And it's like those skills, this their skills to date, their skills to attract emotionally available men, their skills to, you know, learn emotional intelligence, their skills to regulate in your relationship based on your attachment styles. So there's so much that goes into a relationship that unfortunately, not very many people teach us that it's like when we're running our business, Like my focus tends to be my business also, but it's like in the beginning of the year, I chart out like this is what my business stuff will look like.

[00:12:46] Shilpa Lewis: This is how my parenting will look like. This is how my health will look like. This is how my. Uh, relationship will look like and then I focus on different topics every year, like some top in some ways, some years. It's like parenting and relationship is pretty good. So I'll pick on [00:13:00] spirituality and I'll pick on, you know, another category like money, beliefs, finances, investments, all those things, right?

[00:13:06] Shilpa Lewis: So it really depends on I sit down in December and try to figure out where and how I want to show up in my life. And that leads me to being proactive and, you know, You know, grow as a choice. And when I expand, like, yes, some last year was very hard. I invested big time into myself, and that led to a lot of, like, surrender.

[00:13:27] Shilpa Lewis: My word for last year was surrender. So I did a lot of that. But I had to surrender a lot of control in my relationships because that was something that I had to work through. So just recognizing where we are, what are some of our Inner child parts that needs to be healed. What, where does our nervous system needs more regulation?

[00:13:44] Shilpa Lewis: Where, because my thing is like, I want to, I'm very, I live life very intentionally. My brand is called Consciously Living. So consciously healing, consciously creating, and consciously awakening. And it's like, where, what is my intention for my relationship? And that's like for a whole year. What is my [00:14:00] intention for my relationship every day and weekly?

[00:14:03] Shilpa Lewis: If we don't do intentionally, then we're just asleep through it and unconsciously repeating our same patterns over and over.

[00:14:12] Gunjani Patel: You said something that really struck a chord with me that we're not taught Necessarily how to show up for ourselves. Yeah and our shells in relationships, but interesting when you said that at first you need to learn to date yourself because I met Rich over and over attests that we were at the best places in our lives because I was taking such good care of myself.

[00:14:41] Gunjani Patel: I was in such peace. He was aligned. I was aligned. And then we, two people that are aligned, that meet, that can just only blossom that relationship. A hundred percent. So that's also probably true, though, for those who are expanding in, [00:15:00] say, their professional life and realizing that the energy that they needed to give to these other parts of their lives, like For example, your own merit, the very reason I started Omni Mindfulness is because of my son Omni.

[00:15:16] Gunjani Patel: But sometimes he's standing there trying to give me a hug and I'm like, mommy's busy. 

[00:15:24] Shilpa Lewis: Mommy does get to be busy sometimes. Yes. 

[00:15:28] Gunjani Patel: But maybe you can touch upon that. How do you then consciously, your energy without hitting burnout, because that is something that is so common. So, 

[00:15:43] Shilpa Lewis: uh, and I went through that, right?

[00:15:45] Shilpa Lewis: And that's why I was like, Oh my goodness, because I've always had a private practice in different realms. Like, you know, so it's just, I grew my private practice in Florida, then I grew it here. And then I scaled the coaching business. So it was just like, it did lead to a lot of burnout because I didn't know [00:16:00] what, what the whole, I, I, What I was doing as I was, uh, scaling was not taking care of myself.

[00:16:07] Shilpa Lewis: I just went into this manufacture, what I, what I call manufactured manifesting was I was just so chasing. So like not taking care of myself. So doing, doing, doing, doing, and I was so doing heavy instead of just being trusting, which is how I now show up to the world and taking care of my nervous system before anything, taking care of myself, taking care of my, you know, trust with my higher power and my future self, like having, so I am very big on whatever, like, you know, whatever we focus on, wherever the energy is focused is where it expands, right?

[00:16:44] Shilpa Lewis: So it's like back in when I was struggling, the focus was on, and Rightfully so, because my nervous system was not in a secure, safe place, which I had to be, nobody else could take care of it but me. We, other people's emotions [00:17:00] are none of our business and our emotions are none of other people's business, right?

[00:17:04] Shilpa Lewis: So it's like we have to tend to our nervous system. And burnout means that your nervous system, your body, is trying to tell you, stop. Otherwise, your symptoms are going to manifest like the things that you are not taking care of is going to manifest as symptoms. The emotions you're not taking care of are going to manifest as physical symptoms.

[00:17:23] Shilpa Lewis: So somehow, if we don't listen to our body, if we don't tap into our body, if we don't, if we're not embodied, and if we don't love our body and respect its needs, at some point, the body is going to tell us to rest. which is burnout. So I want I since experiencing those different bouts of burnouts, I'm like, no, I am going to scale my business.

[00:17:44] Shilpa Lewis: But this time, it's going to be different. This time, I'm going to tend to my nervous system to myself, resting is good and trusting, and surrendering as opposed to just, you know, Making life happen, and that was very anxiety [00:18:00] controlling, like in IFS, there is a IFS, it stands for internal family systems.

[00:18:03] Shilpa Lewis: It's parts work. So inner child parts work. Um, and basically in that modality, one of the things that we talk about, it's like, there are parts of us that we developed as coping mechanisms early on in life that helped us once that helped us keep us safe then. But at certain point of our life, as we were expanding, the, they keep coming, we keep coming up against the edges of those parts.

[00:18:25] Shilpa Lewis: And as a result, we self sabotage. So it's like, what control once helped me at some point when we're, when I'm scaling, I can't control people, places, things outside of me all the time, because that leads to my nervous system being always on, always on hypervigilance, always on. So doing all this body work really helped me.

[00:18:45] Shilpa Lewis: Because emotions are energy in motion, uh, body work and emotions work really help me be regulated, be calm, be in a state of flow and letting life work for me, as opposed to blocking it by not knowing how to manage my fear, by [00:19:00] blocking it by not knowing how to manage my I'm not good enough, should I do this, like all this unworthiness, all the shame, all this guilt, all the dense emotions, like desiring attachment, emotions that block us from receiving what life wants to manifest through us as as itself.

[00:19:15] Shilpa Lewis: And that was a lesson that was, I had to learn. 

[00:19:19] Gunjani Patel: And do you believe that the same modalities that we would use, say, in other facets of our life, maybe outside of relationships, those same modalities can help us Not only embody the experience, but also regulate the experience. 100%. What I'm trying to say is, you know, like, for, I can just see that even within a relationship you're, you're feeling stuck or tense energy, breath work, even on your own, could release some of that anxiety.

[00:19:52] Gunjani Patel: So you show up. As a higher vibration for your spouse. 

[00:19:58] Shilpa Lewis: 100%. For yourself. And then, [00:20:00] as a result, your spouse feel their aura, their, their stuff switches. Like, that was one of the biggest ways that I shifted. Or, uh, when I started embodying the change that I wish to see, I inspired from that place, as opposed to trying to control to make him change and be someone that he was not.

[00:20:17] Shilpa Lewis: Not wanting to be in alignment with, even though it was for his highest good, for example, like he used to smoke and I'm like, you smoke, you smoke, you be decided that once we have a child, you'd not do that, this, that, right. And no matter how much telling him or nagging him or trying to control him about that, and he knew that it was not good for him and all the things.

[00:20:36] Shilpa Lewis: It was just, I had to not do spiritual bypass and heal and just accept him for where he was and let the universe, let the energy take care of itself. And it did. Because then I was coming from a place of, I would plant a seed, like, Hey, I saw this article on vaping or FDA approved, or some of your friends did that.

[00:20:56] Shilpa Lewis: You know, what are your thoughts? And I would leave it at that. And then he did a research and it's like, since [00:21:00] then he hasn't been smoking. So it's like, there are little tiny changes that I manifested in my life. But that led to huge closeness, intimacy, connection between us, because I showed up not trying to control and micromanage him, but because I was like, you know what, I accept, I'm compassionate, I am loving, I am going to do my thing, and just leave it and trust that it's all going to work out for the highest good of everybody and the greatest joy of everybody.

[00:21:26] Shilpa Lewis: And I trust the universe and trying to make that me trying to control was me not trusting the universe. 

[00:21:33] Gunjani Patel: That is so profound. I feel like that is something that is not necessarily easy though. Like I, 

[00:21:40] Shilpa Lewis: that was, that took me a whole year by the way, which was my last year as someone with high functioning anxiety, who had all the career and all the other stuff in check, that was hard.

[00:21:52] Shilpa Lewis: I 

[00:21:53] Gunjani Patel: mean, I could just see that even now, like every part of my life is a practice and [00:22:00] well being practice and it requires. Daily showing up and it could be that even now for the last three, four months, I have been on this mission to meet what vibrationally the word that I put out for the year, which is holistic harmony and holistic harmony does require, though, to show up holistically.

[00:22:23] Shilpa Lewis: And harmoniously in your vibration. 

[00:22:27] Gunjani Patel: And I don't want the audience to think this is all very esoteric talk. Cause this is stuff that we can then put into practice on a daily basis. While the notion that becoming the better version of me may sound esoteric, becoming the better version of me in a relationship is something that we all are probably unconsciously practicing.

[00:22:52] Shilpa Lewis: Right, right. And I think it's a lot of, and it's a give and take, right? Like this morning we had a huge conflict and the way we navigate, [00:23:00] the way we repair after conflicts, the way, like, and we set a vision of what are like our deal breakers. Every two weeks we meet and we talk about what are some of the things that we learned this week about each other?

[00:23:11] Shilpa Lewis: What are some of the things that you want me to learn that I don't know about you? What are some of the things that we can improve on? Like, those are conversations that we didn't have before. That we did when we were in the honeymoon phase and we were, you know, in the beginning phases of our marriage.

[00:23:26] Shilpa Lewis: But most couples don't do that because it's just like now we're together. We are so pulled by life and things outside of us that if we don't keep track of some of these basic simple things and have Live intentionally, like how, how do we see ourselves and how do we get there, you know, had a profound impact on how we show up in our relationships and repair and make those tiny, small baby changes that leads to big, huge changes over that compounds with time.

[00:23:57] Gunjani Patel: When you mentioned earlier, [00:24:00] um, that these small, tiny changes compound over time, reminds me of a book I've been ongoingly reading for the last several months. Oh, I 

[00:24:11] Shilpa Lewis: love that book. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's one of the things he talks about. Yeah. 

[00:24:16] Gunjani Patel: Right. So essentially this, what you're articulating is having systems in place 

[00:24:21] Shilpa Lewis: in 

[00:24:23] Gunjani Patel: other areas of your life, but relationship because you're not treating it as an end goal, but it's a daily thing.

[00:24:31] Gunjani Patel: daily practice. 

[00:24:33] Shilpa Lewis: Right. And we are also always like, how can we make our relationship better? Like, how can we get better? What can I improve on in myself? Like, I'm like that for myself through that big change. And I don't expect him. But when I come from a place of, hey, I just bought this course on doing, you know, vision exercises and doing all these things.

[00:24:54] Shilpa Lewis: And I'm interested. And, you know, I want to be held accountable for this. Is this something that you'd be willing to do with [00:25:00] me? Like I gamify it now when I was like, you need to do breathwork with me, help me meet my hours. He was like, you do it. I'm not here for it. Like this is not my cup of tea. And I'm like, oh, okay.

[00:25:10] Shilpa Lewis: And then I would manifest like we, him and I do breathwork together. I do this visualization activities, all these things that I teach my clients in terms of manifesting. And it's like, I, If it's in the greatest good of everybody, somehow universe always rewards me. I don't know, the energy always, somehow flows in the way of what I anticipate things happening.

[00:25:30] Shilpa Lewis: So I'm like, I see that we are, you know, more connected, more together, because I feel like when we have a vision of what we are working towards, we are working towards it. Otherwise, it's just like same things over and over. Same patterns, over and over. There's no growth and it leads to frustration and resentment and.

[00:25:49] Shilpa Lewis: A lot of disconnect over time and I've seen that happen in marriages. I have never been modeled healthy marriages. So I was, and there were some friends of mine that [00:26:00] modeled really good healthy marriages and I always like, was like, I strive to be like that. And now I, I, since then I'd made it my practice, like if I have a relationship and when I have it, it, this is what I want it to look like.

[00:26:12] Shilpa Lewis: And that vision changes once we meet, you know, okay, we've met what we wanted now, what next? 

[00:26:19] Gunjani Patel: So it's continually expanding. It's a, it's a daily practice. And you mentioned earlier as an exercise. And I wonder if you could go a little bit deeper into it for the audience. It sounded like the life wheel or the energy life wheel in the very beginning where you were talking about life.

[00:26:37] Gunjani Patel: We all have different areas of what I call the focus, spirituality, relationship, money. Yeah. Can you walk us through how if a client came to you, let's say that, uh, a hypothesis is they are a, um, pivoting entrepreneur as a solopreneur and they are [00:27:00] inundated with the level of overwhelm that comes with becoming a solopreneur and how can they manage and protect the energy of their existing relationship?

[00:27:12] Shilpa Lewis: Yeah. So, um, My fundamental basis for where life starts is what I've come to realize is like when I started taking care of myself and myself in 12 categories of life. All my relationships, my business, my everything else expanded automatically as a result of that and where that started for me because I was like, we can only change us, right?

[00:27:38] Shilpa Lewis: We can't change the people around us. We can be an embodiment of the change, but the change starts with us first, right? What feels familiar to our nervous system is what we keep doing over and over, even if it's like familiar hell, we keep doing it because unfamiliar heaven is like a tiger in front of our nervous system.

[00:27:56] Shilpa Lewis: Uh, that's how it perceives it, right? [00:28:00] So, The way I started life is I, when I started this journey, it started with 12 categories and it was like all different mental, um, mental health, emotional health, spiritual health, business and, um, career, um, finance, your relationship with money and wealth and wealth consciousness, your partnership, your romantic life, um, parenting, service and contribution, um, Your social and friendships, your hobbies and recreation.

[00:28:31] Shilpa Lewis: So it's like expansion in all areas of life, right? Like, which is essentially like Wheel of Life. But basically, so in order to not get so overwhelmed by that whole thing, for me, I just find that I like picking three or four different categories to really go deep with. And then there's some, like a year.

[00:28:52] Shilpa Lewis: And then there are some categories that I feel like I'm good. And then I go into the next ones that are really like, two or three, like really need help, help, [00:29:00] you know, those kinds of things. Um, so that way it doesn't get too overwhelming because I found myself where I'm like, I'm going to do all 12. And then I was just like, burnt out of personal development.

[00:29:09] Shilpa Lewis: And I'm like, I don't want to spiritually bypass. I want to embody and show up as this person, you know? Um, yeah. So I was doing so I picked those categories and in those categories, we'd go deep into all the different things like the vision, the beliefs and the actions. But the idea was that the Uh, whatever category you want to pick out of the 12 that I listed, pick one, uh, pick one that, that three, three or four that feels like, okay, right now when you're doing the wheel of life or when you're doing the inventory of your life and where it is, because to me, it's like, again, consciously living means that you are.

[00:29:51] Shilpa Lewis: co creating your life as opposed to life happening to you based on your past cycles or your worries of the future. Like I'm not available [00:30:00] to that. To me it's like where do I see myself this next one year from now and where do I see myself three years from now and what categories of my life need to be addressed right now for me to change and become the person that I'm manifesting to be.

[00:30:15] Shilpa Lewis: Manifesting is not just we get what we desire. Manifesting is we get. who we are, who the unhealed and healed parts of us, right? So it requires us to go deep within and see, okay, where, where, where am I sabotaging myself all over the place? Where am I fearful of success? Where am I an imposter? Where am I doubting myself so much?

[00:30:33] Shilpa Lewis: Where am I being a perfectionist? Right? And when I started looking into all of that, I started like, at the end of the day, I had this journaling practice that I do. And And I was like, how did my relationship, like this year, like I said, we are focusing on our health, our relationship, our aging well, because I'm like, I am going to turn 45.

[00:30:51] Shilpa Lewis: Like I promised myself when I turned 40, that this was going to be the best decade of my life, because prior to all the other decades were pretty rough. [00:31:00] So this year, I'm like, I claim and declared that this is going to be the best decade of my life. So every year, I've been just working on that so much, you know, and I'm going to turn 45.

[00:31:10] Shilpa Lewis: And I'm like, I am just aging. timelessly and aging most vibrantly and the most amount of vitality that I've ever had. And that's the focus that I go in with. And that's one of the reasons why we started working on health. So it's like the why, why are we doing what we're doing? Like same thing with the relationship.

[00:31:27] Shilpa Lewis: We want to be more in love with each other where we walk on the street and people like, Oh my gosh, can't even believe they've been married for 10 years. Like I want to model that to my son. Same thing with the parenting. Like, I grew up with so much, you know, like, you got 98. Oh, why didn't you get 100? And I'm like, oh my God, can we just celebrate 98?

[00:31:43] Shilpa Lewis: But no. So I want to model that to my six year old and that's how I want to show up. So I'm like, you know, we need to keep showing up as better parents. So parenting is something we're working on. And then I want to have time and, um, [00:32:00] Uh, wealth freedom. So that makes me focus on the business and like, like you said, like I, you know, I changed my niche from last time a little or shifted my focus, but it came from entrepreneurship requires you to be flexible.

[00:32:14] Shilpa Lewis: We have to roll. We have to see what we have to do. We have to keep changing. We have to keep switching till we actually find something that just feels so easy and passionate about and so exciting about. But something that is in alignment with who we are at the time. Right. So. 

[00:32:32] Gunjani Patel: And the more you fine tune these facets of your career relationships, the way I interpret that is that you're intentional, deliberate, and conscientious in how you respond to.

[00:32:50] Gunjani Patel: Gaging the energy and then saying, you know what now I'm ready to expand this part of my life in a very conscious way which [00:33:00] Really like you're I hate to use word control, but you're in control as opposed to yeah feeling like you're the victim of 100%. 

[00:33:10] Shilpa Lewis: And I've lived as a victim in victim consciousness a lot of my life because of untreated depression and PTSD.

[00:33:17] Shilpa Lewis: So I no longer, like, and because of healing all of that and having low self worth and low self esteem and all the things, uh, I no longer is available, I'm not available to that because I'm like, I have the, now I know from doing all the emotional intelligence and nervous system regulation body work that I no longer give my power away.

[00:33:37] Shilpa Lewis: I no longer react to life. I can respond and I'm in full control of my emotions, my world, my stories, my language, my, the way I show up, my embodiment and nobody else can control that. So I can, and how do I want to show up with that level of power for. Myself and the people that I serve, my family and the world around [00:34:00] me.

[00:34:01] Gunjani Patel: And the way you, you mentioned a point also ties back to showing up around the world, but what I wanted to say to the audience, and maybe you can validate or something like that is that when we talk about the wheel of life and all the different 12 facets, I mean, again, those focuses can be different for different people, although generally we all have the same.

[00:34:24] Gunjani Patel: The same type of areas of life, right? But we do not necessarily have to say, when I say holistic harmony, that our energy goes into all 12 areas 

[00:34:32] Shilpa Lewis: because right 

[00:34:34] Gunjani Patel: is may require different focus in what season of life you're in. 

[00:34:38] Shilpa Lewis: A hundred percent, 

[00:34:40] Gunjani Patel: right? 

[00:34:40] Shilpa Lewis: And yeah, and even within that, right, like when I was like, I focus, like I said, the, our focus is like four different things.

[00:34:47] Shilpa Lewis: On any given day, I focus on two, like, you know, if we are good, then relationship is not something I sit and sit and find myself thinking about all day long. Maybe it's something with Tavek, or my [00:35:00] son, or maybe it's something related to parenting, or maybe my business needs more focus. These days, I'm just really working on setting the foundation of my business.

[00:35:08] Shilpa Lewis: you know, uh, scaling it. So it's like, it has been a focus. So I really find myself really allocating all my energy in that space. But there are some days that I, like even to me, like living in harmony to me means what would bring me, what feels the most ease? How can I bring the frequency of ease? Not easy.

[00:35:27] Shilpa Lewis: I like to work hard, but I don't like to, uh, I, what I teach my son is like, work smart, not hard. You know, it's like if you can guess things done in the least amount of time with the, you know, with resources, then use those resources. Don't sit here and break your brain over it. Um, so it's like there are certain things, like to me, I set an intention that I want a day that feels easy, that has a frequency of ease, that feels peaceful, that feels harmonious.

[00:35:57] Shilpa Lewis: So I, in any activity or things that I [00:36:00] do, most of the time, I don't live As a monk, but I try to ask myself like, and that, that's where my end of the day journaling comes in. It's like, what did I learn? Where was I not harmonious? Where, where can I do things differently? What can I learn from this day and from what I'm doing and showing up as?

[00:36:17] Shilpa Lewis: So I can't focus on all five activities because that feels very overwhelming. It's just hard, but focusing on three different things brings me joy, brings me, puts me in a place of gratefulness, puts me in this place of living in harmony. Why not? 

[00:36:30] Gunjani Patel: It's good that you brought up the term overwhelm because I have to take a step back probably on a daily basis.

[00:36:38] Gunjani Patel: Ah. I'll just say to my audience, you know, I get overwhelmed easily and they all 

[00:36:43] Shilpa Lewis: do. 

[00:36:44] Gunjani Patel: Yeah. I daily have to take a conscious step back like you have been. 

[00:36:49] Shilpa Lewis: Yeah. 

[00:36:51] Gunjani Patel: The relationship facet is, um, universal, meaning that facet of our life, unless you're living in [00:37:00] a cave. Yeah. You only want to check this with yourself, but I feel like we all have different types of relationships.

[00:37:08] Gunjani Patel: We have to Hundred 

[00:37:09] Shilpa Lewis: percent. 

[00:37:10] Gunjani Patel: The 

[00:37:11] Shilpa Lewis: relationship we have with our team, the relationships we have with our, you know, parents, the relationship that we have with our family, like there's so, we are social creatures. We, we function in relationships, in connection, in love with each other, in harmony with each other.

[00:37:27] Shilpa Lewis: And it doesn't always work out like that, but there are boundaries for that. 

[00:37:30] Gunjani Patel: Yeah. And those boundaries really are what kind of helps us because you mentioned earlier parts of the. conversation that there are various variety of relationships we all have. We cannot necessarily control how they behave 

[00:37:49] Shilpa Lewis: so 

[00:37:49] Gunjani Patel: that we feel better.

[00:37:51] Shilpa Lewis: Yeah. 

[00:37:52] Gunjani Patel: We can respond to what energy we choose to Put into it. Right. 

[00:37:57] Shilpa Lewis: And then 

[00:37:58] Gunjani Patel: we choose to set our [00:38:00] boundaries. 

[00:38:01] Shilpa Lewis: 100%. 100%. Our energy is 100 percent our responsibility. And I truly believe like our energy is our currency. The more we relax, the more we know how to chill, the more we know how to access those higher vibrations of just living in peace.

[00:38:16] Shilpa Lewis: Peace, feeling in peace. I didn't know what that was like as someone with high functioning anxiety. It was very hard for my nervous system to feel and be at peace. I always had to be doing something. And now I'm like, no, that is not, I'm not available. Doing breath work, doing meditation, doing, you know, like movement and strength training and all the different things I do to just help my nervous system because I no longer choose to be available to burn out.

[00:38:43] Shilpa Lewis: I would rather rest and take breaks and schedule meditation breaks throughout the day and get ideas and have my sacral and creativity flowing because I truly believe that energy flows and we have all the creativity in us, but the inspiration doesn't [00:39:00] download or come to us when we are tensed and always trying so hard and doing, doing, doing, and not sitting and taking time for that stillness.

[00:39:10] Gunjani Patel: That is a perfect wrap up. I couldn't have articulated that better. Just the, just the, you wrapped it all up. The different points, taking us I know what 

[00:39:19] Shilpa Lewis: podcast I'm on. 

[00:39:23] Gunjani Patel: You took us from your journey and what the catalyst for the, of going down the path of relationship coaching, and then bringing us to the fact that you've now applied all, a lot of this in your own life.

[00:39:35] Gunjani Patel: And we both agree that we're works in progress and we continually evolve. As we regulate and evolve and regulate. 

[00:39:43] Shilpa Lewis: 100%. Absolutely. 

[00:39:45] Gunjani Patel: Now, the show notes will have it, but walk us through what someone needs to do to reach out to you and work with you. 

[00:39:55] Shilpa Lewis: Thank you. Um, so I am mostly available on Instagram. [00:40:00] My, uh, handle is called Gunjini Patel Oza.

[00:40:03] Shilpa Lewis: And, um, I truly love people find relationships, manifest good relationships, or if they're in relationship or a conflict phase of relationship, just help them move to more secure, loving place. But that starts with dating yourself. And dating yourself every day and having that level of commitment to yourself so you can show up in your relationships from that place.

[00:40:24] Shilpa Lewis: And that does require going through some rough things and healings and doing the work, um, before you can see that because of a number of different reasons. But going back to the questions, uh, yes, um, my email is gunjanee at consciously living. co And, um, my, I could be found on Instagram, DM me, call me, reach out to me, message me.

[00:40:48] Shilpa Lewis: I'd love to support you and hear from you. And if you have any questions more, I'm more than happy to answer it. 

[00:40:55] Gunjani Patel: And I've worked with you, Gunjanee, in the past, working even with the modality of breath [00:41:00] work. That alone is such a powerful method. 

[00:41:03] Shilpa Lewis: It is 100 percent changed my life. I also have ADHD. So it's like, I had a hard time just sitting and meditating.

[00:41:09] Shilpa Lewis: So breath work was like a very good active meditation for me. And it really helped me be increased my emotional intelligence be more active. not emotionally reacting to life all the time, but living in that, finding that harmony in my life, finding being okay with just that stillness. But I had to train my nervous system to that.

[00:41:32] Shilpa Lewis: And it has truly helped me do that, just consciously breathing and using different techniques that can help you ground, that can help you energize, that can help you, you know, release trauma, that can help you release stuck emotions from your body. So, yeah, I love that tool and I recommend it to everybody.

[00:41:51] Shilpa Lewis: We all breathe, but we breathe 24, 000 times a day. But unfortunately, we are only not conscious through [00:42:00] most of those breaths. So I invite people to breathe intentionally and that can have, that can do amazing things for your nervous system and how you show up to life. 

[00:42:11] Gunjani Patel: I love that. Well, Gunjani, thank you.

[00:42:13] Gunjani Patel: And I, You're welcome. You're welcome. Love you back. I always. Ah, 

[00:42:16] Shilpa Lewis: thank you. I love the show. I love the audience on this show and I love having, being here so I can never turn down an offer when you say, ask me to be here. I love it. I love all of it. Thank you. And I just want to say thank you for having me here again and again and I just celebrate this show's success over the years that I've seen it grow and expand with everything that you do.

[00:42:40] Shilpa Lewis: So thank you for doing everything that you do. 

[00:42:43] Gunjani Patel: Well, thank you. You're part of the journey of success, so I truly 

[00:42:46] Shilpa Lewis: appreciate 

[00:42:46] Gunjani Patel: you and I appreciate our friendship. So thank you so much. Thank you. Until you are a returning guest, thank you so much. Absolutely. You too.[00:43:00] 

[00:43:06] Gunjani Patel: I am finding it hard to, hold on, I'll edit this last part out.