Heart-Centered Fearless Living as a Soulful Solopreneur: A Conversation with Rhonda Britten. (Epi.#198)

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About this episode:

In this episode, Rhonda Britten, author of 'Fearless Living,' discusses the impact of fear on solopreneurs and offers guidance on overcoming hesitation by aligning with one's soul journey. She emphasizes the importance of distinguishing between the voice of fear and the voice of spirit and presents a comprehensive understanding of how fear operates. Rhonda shares personal stories, including her challenging journey through corporate life and into her current path, shedding light on techniques to embrace fear and turn it into freedom. The discussion further explores the role of self-love, validation, and identifying subtle signs from the universe, offering practical insights and exercises such as writing a love letter to oneself to cultivate deep self-worth. Rhonda also introduces her Fearless Living Transformation Program designed to help individuals harness their true potential.

00:00 Introduction and Warm Welcome
00:35 Discussing Fear and Solopreneurship

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Transcript

[00:00:00] shilpa: Well, welcome, Rhonda. Welcome to me and welcome to you. I'm so glad that we get to be together today. Absolutely. Um, before I hit record, I had mentioned that I had read your book, Fearless Living, many, many moons ago. And it inspired a lot of aspects of my, um, career. So, yeah. Excellent. Thank you. I'm so glad.

[00:00:26] shilpa: Thank you. Well, I have a few questions, but we will try to keep it somewhat organic as well. And I'm, I'll just mute myself after I ask the question. Feel free to ask me as well, but on the topic of fear and being a solopreneur, I put the word soul into solopreneur, because my path is very much built around that.

[00:00:49] shilpa: My soul's journey. And that is why I do what I do. So I want to ask you many solopreneurs feel often paralyzed by the [00:01:00] making the wrong move or it's launching a new offer, showing up online or pivoting their business fear often disguises itself as not being ready enough, which I often have had as an issue or needing more clarity.

[00:01:18] shilpa: Or, in my case, being stuck in the analysis paralysis because I'm such an analytical individual. So, what guidance, what mentorship, or what advice for the soulful solopreneurs would you give who are stuck in this cycle of hesitation? And how can they begin taking fear, fearless action today? 

[00:01:43] rhonda: Yeah. Well, I love the question and I love the dimensions of the question, so I'm just going to go for it.

[00:01:50] rhonda: You know, if you put soul at the center of things, my logline, my whole life is about live the life your soul intended. That is my whole purpose for the last 30 years. [00:02:00] And God gave me that, right? Like I'm walking across my living room and he's like, live the life your soul intended. I'm like, and he also gave me fearless living.

[00:02:07] rhonda: Right. And. He gave me, he or she, whatever you want to name it, right, God, universe, source, light, doesn't matter to me what you, what you name the thing that is bigger than us. Um, but what I know to be true is when we are in decision, when we're, we're, we're stuck and not sure what to do, we are the ones that are deciding what to do.

[00:02:29] rhonda: Instead of if we are committed to spirit, if we are committed to living our soul, then spirit decides what we should be doing. Spirit is the one that tells us when to move and not move, right? That's the thing that we, I think, as spiritual beings, we all want. We all want that spirit to be living through us, as us, for us, and through us, right?

[00:02:50] rhonda: So, you know, When we are in our indecision, we are in our humanness. Now, again, it's normal to go there. It's normal to go there and I get it. [00:03:00] I I've been there myself, but what I know to be true is when we're seeking clarity, it's because we're not clear on the answer. And so if you're not clear on the answer, what could you do?

[00:03:12] rhonda: Like, could you meditate? Could you, could you just let it go and go, okay, maybe it's not the time or the place right now. Is it? Is it, is it that you're doing something cause you're supposed to, or is it doing, are you doing something because you're compelled to? So that's a very big difference. And most people I know.

[00:03:29] rhonda: One of the things they come to me for is they don't know the difference between the voice of God and the voice of fear. And so let's just review that for a minute. The voice of fear feels very phonetic, right? It's like, you gotta do this. Come on, you're gonna, you're gonna fail. You know, it talks about all the reasons why if you don't do something right now, bad things are gonna happen.

[00:03:47] rhonda: Well, Source, Light, Universe never talks like that, never speaks like that. And it always has plenty of time. So usually what happens for me when I know it's from Source, and this is how I work, Is, [00:04:00] um, the, um, compulsion comes out of the blue, it's literally out of the blue. Like I, I'm not thinking, I'm like taking a shower, right?

[00:04:09] rhonda: And I'm walking down the street and it comes to me, blah, blah, blah, do this. And then I'm like, huh? And I may hear it again. I may not hear it again, but it's that me in that moment going, huh? And many times it's followed by me, you know, me, me. Are you sure? Moment charge. That is your assignment. And then you as a human being.

[00:04:35] rhonda: Get to use your free will to decide whether to follow through or not. And you get to use this as your journey to become who you're meant to be. So every assignment we're given. It's not necessarily something easy. It's something that we have to grow into. So usually that indecision, that paralysis, that am I doing it right?

[00:04:54] rhonda: Am I doing it well enough? Am I, those are all things based in fear, as you mentioned, right? They're all based in fear. [00:05:00] And so that's what I specialize in is helping people understand what fear looks like and how fear processes. So but the first thing I want to say is, do you know the difference between the voice of fear and the voice of God, then do you know the thing that you're meant to do is from God itself, and that you're compelled And if that is true, then now we've got to do fear work.

[00:05:22] rhonda: So, until you know it's from God itself, and again, it may just be an inkling. I just get, I just get nudges. And sometimes, um, God only gives me half the assignment. So, then that's a level of patience, right? And, okay, okay, you're not, okay, I've only got half the assignment, okay. And can I do something in this half of the assignment, or not?

[00:05:44] rhonda: And just being open and available and having the patience and the capability to know that you are the chosen one in order to do that job. Right. So then we can talk about fear. But right now I just want to address that and then do we want to go to fear next or what do you think what's [00:06:00] what's your next question or how do we want to proceed, because I can talk about fear all day long.

[00:06:05] shilpa: Yeah, no, I like the idea of them being able to have I would say, I don't want to use the word actionable because then ego steps in, but I would say a method to the madness, so to speak, in terms of how to work with the fear. 

[00:06:25] rhonda: Yeah, and so I'm going to, I want to clarify ego. I know I'm the minority in this world when we talk about ego.

[00:06:33] rhonda: But for me, and again, I know I'm the minority, but I think everybody needs a strong ego. Because ego is part and parcel of who we are. That's what we were created with, with an ego. Where it goes quote unquote wrong is when ego is driven by fear. So that's why I don't say, are you driven by ego, or are you driven by love, or are you driven by fear versus love, I'm really like, are you driven by fear, or are you driven by freedom, are you driven by God, or driven by fear.

[00:06:59] rhonda: So, [00:07:00] be attentive, because sometimes we cut off our ego, which is our ambition, maybe ambition, our drive. Our, uh, fuel, our passion, because we think we're overtaking somebody, or we're too much, or I don't want to take all the space, or I, right? And that's all fear based, because maybe you're the person to just do just that.

[00:07:23] rhonda: So let's just talk about fear for, let's just talk about what fear is. So I want everybody to just think for a minute, you know, I'm going to give a quiz first, because this is going to put it into motion, and then I'll give the the root of the thing. So most people, what I know to be true, Is that my experience is most people don't even know it's fear, right?

[00:07:42] rhonda: So they think what their problem is. I'm a procrastinator, or I'm lazy, or I'm weak, or I'm undecided, indecisive, or I'm complaining. So I'm going to give a little quiz and for everybody who is not driving, because if you're driving, don't do this. If you're not driving, go ahead and shut your eyes and then nod your [00:08:00] head while I read these words.

[00:08:03] rhonda: So you can silently acknowledge that. Yes, I do this. So do you do any of these things or feel any of these things? So, do you deny yourself? Do you isolate? Do you pretend everything's okay when it's not? Do you hide out? Do you whine? Do you settle and call it compromise? Do you compare yourself to others?

[00:08:23] rhonda: Do you secretly manipulate? Do you get defensive? Do you judge? Do you complain? Do you procrastinate? Do you wait and call it patience? Do you blame? Do you struggle? Do you feel like you're worrying all the time? Do you deflect? Do you get in control? Do you have control issues? Do you get bitter? How about feeling powerless?

[00:08:41] rhonda: What about resentful? Entitled? What about feeling guilty? Disappointed? What if you get caught in perfectionism or overwhelmed? Do you ever feel irritated like you might now with all these, with all these words coming at you? Do you ever feel victimized, annoyed, getting caught in self pity? So all of the [00:09:00] things that I just read, people for the most part think those are the problems, right?

[00:09:05] rhonda: If I just didn't procrastinate, if I just wasn't indecisive, then I could do God's bidding, right? Well, those are all what I call fear responses, and those are simply symptoms of fear. So when you're overwhelmed, when you're procrastinating, when you're perfectionist, when you're people pleasing, when you're comparing, that means fear is on the, is in the game.

[00:09:24] rhonda: And so instead of beating yourself up, which is really a waste of time and only solidifies fear's power over you, we want to do something different. So I just want to think of it this way. So think of a flower or a plant, anything that you want. And there's a root, right? There's a root of to the, to the plant.

[00:09:41] rhonda: And then there's the flowers. Let's just say use a flower. And each flower are the five top problems you think you have. Again, people pleasing, overwhelm, judging, procrastination, perfectionism, and whatever they are. Once you can identify what I call the core fear, your, what I call the wheel of fear, [00:10:00] then these start dissolving.

[00:10:03] rhonda: Your fear responses start dissolving. Most of us live on the fear, fear response level. So they go to perfectionism school or judging school. And again, they get results and they're like, I solved my procrastination and my perfectionism. Yay, baby! But fear doesn't care. Fear doesn't care what your fear response is.

[00:10:22] rhonda: If you stop being overwhelmed, it'll just give you a different fear response. So it could care less how it's stopping you from moving forward. Because fear has one job and one job only, and it's to keep us safe. And your core fear is something that is so hidden. And by the way, it's formed by the time you're six years old.

[00:10:39] rhonda: You're so secretly, silently running your life that you cannot even see it if you try. So when people say to me, well, I have a fear of rejection or fear of failure, I'm like, yeah, maybe. I think that's a fear response, because there's something deeper underneath. So we want to build a relationship with fear, find out what that core fear is.

[00:10:58] rhonda: And start working what I call the [00:11:00] wheel of fear and the wheel of freedom, those mental models that really support you in understanding yourself, as well as giving you clues to when, wait a minute, am I in fear or am I in freedom? What, where am I? You're going to easily know those answers. The

[00:11:20] shilpa: question that came to my mind is like when you said the word mental models, like can actually have a mental model around fear and even maybe get to the point where you could. Understand your own triggers. 

[00:11:35] rhonda: Oh, that's exactly what the wheel of fear is. You will, I think one of the most important things that all people can do is understand their fear responses and start taking the shame away from those, and the guilt, and uh, what's wrong with me, and what's my problem, why do I still procrastinate, why am I still a perfectionist, what's my problem?

[00:11:54] rhonda: Because what we're doing is we're wasting our precious resource of energy, time, space, etc. [00:12:00] on questioning something that is an automatic response. So once you understand how fear works, then that conversation about procrastination perfectionism, you won't waste a second in that dialogue, right? It'll be just like, Oh, I'm procrastinating.

[00:12:17] rhonda: Got it. Okay. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. That means I was triggered. That means I'm that means I'm stepping into something new because fear doesn't visit you if you're on the couch eating Doritos. Right. You don't procrastinate when you're like getting on, you don't go, I'm going to procrastinate going on the couch and eating Doritos.

[00:12:33] rhonda: No, we don't procrastinate doing that. Right. We only procrastinate the things that cause us to grow that asked something of us. Right. That we want more of that's on the, that's on the verge of some greatness, some verge of some shift, verge of some change. Right. So we don't sit there and go, God, I wish I could get from the kitchen to the couch and eat my Doritos.

[00:12:52] rhonda: No, we don't do that. Right. Because that is not a risk. That is not a change. That is not a shift. Fear wants you to get [00:13:00] on the couch at Doritos because fear can keep you safe there, but fear can't guarantee your safety if you're going to go and open a business, or you're going to make a new offer, or, you know, you're going to go into a new niche.

[00:13:11] rhonda: Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. We haven't done that yet. Wait a second, wait a second, wait a second. Because the way our brain works, the way our neurobiology works, is that if you have a present problem, a problem in the present mind, oh, my offer, my, you know, my audience, my niche, you know, what do I do, what's my next certification, etc.

[00:13:28] rhonda: Your body and brain, we're wired this way, automatically goes in the past to find a solution. And you're trying to create a problem, solve a problem in the present to create a new future, but you will automatically, unbeknownst to you, be going in the past. Because fear can only keep you alive if you use something that you've already done in some way, shape, or form.

[00:13:50] rhonda: That's why when you're dating somebody, it's like, I can't believe I'm dating the same guy, except he just looks different, right? So we get caught up in the same patterns. [00:14:00] Because that's how fear keeps us safe. Now, I want to say one more thing. Physical fears and emotional fears have the same fear responses.

[00:14:07] rhonda: So, We're talking about emotional fears here. We're not talking about fear of snakes. We're talking about fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of loss, fear of weak, right? Fear of, fear of, fear of laziness, right? Fear of, fear of lack of confidence. So those are the things we're talking about. So does that make sense?

[00:14:22] rhonda: Does that answer your question? 

[00:14:24] shilpa: Yeah, absolutely. I like the fact that you mentioned that we go back to what we were used to. Unconsciously. Unconsciously. Because I've, I worked in corporate where. Um, I had all the skills, I had the degrees, I had the knowledge, I had the talent. And they had the mental model for me, as long as I played safe in those parameters, I made really good money.

[00:14:50] shilpa: And, uh, I'll be even more daring and say that as long as I didn't ruffle people or rock the boat, I could still have a job. [00:15:00] I started to rock the boat because of a variety of reasons. Maybe I was ready to expand. And so I've been a solopreneur, but it's been hard because there's no mental model now. I'm figuring it out as I go.

[00:15:17] rhonda: Yeah. And there are, there are mental models, but right. So one of my clients who became one of my coaches, Certified Feral Sleeping Coach, Vicky, she was working for a pharmaceutical company and similar to you, right? But she started recognizing that the only way she could advance was playing the game and compromising her values.

[00:15:38] rhonda: And so she started looking around because she realized she didn't want the raise that bad. She didn't want to live a compromised life. So that's when she found Fearless Living and signed up for the Life Coach Certification Program and became a coach. And now she has her own business and she's thriving and making six figures and it's awesome to watch her just blossom.

[00:15:56] rhonda: So yeah, when we come up against our values, when we come [00:16:00] up against who we believe we are or who we want to be, and now we're being asked, consciously or unconsciously, subtly or not so subtly, To not be ourselves, to not live our authentic life, then we have a decision to make and as fear going to make that decision, or is your soul going to make that decision because a lot of people let fear make that decision and they are called smart, right?

[00:16:24] rhonda: They're called smart. You are so smart. You are so smart, right? So we, in our culture, call people smart when they compromise themselves. 

[00:16:37] shilpa: You know, you touched on the word subtle, a lot of the choices I have made. In transitioning out of corporate in the last several years has been subtle. It's the esoteric stuff.

[00:16:51] shilpa: The things that I can't even logically trace to. And it sometimes makes me feel like, Are you just going [00:17:00] nuts? I mean, Yes. Yes. It's almost like, and maybe you'll get it. Fearless, like, conjures up this image, like, Aha! I've got it all figured out. I I'm a warrior. I've got the green, um, suit on. And, uh, you know, I I'm ready.

[00:17:17] shilpa: I know what I'm gonna tackle. No. For me, it's been the subtle nudge. The subtle nudges. And, it's It's sometimes you, I question my own sanity over that. 

[00:17:31] rhonda: Well, sure, because it's corporate America isn't subtle, right? Corporate America is do this, do that, here's a project, let's get going. And so, you are working on more of the subtle energetic field, right?

[00:17:44] rhonda: And you are working on soul level, so it is not necessarily so shiny and bright per se for many people and it's not so loud and brash, right, it is literally getting to your bones, you know, it's like, it's like [00:18:00] getting to your bones so that your bones are the ones that are there that are creating the new you, instead of the clothes you put on it's your bones.

[00:18:09] rhonda: So, you know, we want our bones to, we want soul, we want our bones to actually create our life, not. If you, if you're a soul person, you don't want to follow, you wouldn't probably listen to this podcast if you were somebody in corporate America wanting to know the rules, because that's a different podcast, right?

[00:18:23] rhonda: That's, that's a different one. This one is I want to, I want to live by my soul, whether I work in corporate America or not, or I have a desire to have my own business or I have my own business and I want it to be led by spirit. Awesome. Well, you've got to be a brave individual and you've got to master fear in order to do God's bidding.

[00:18:43] rhonda: That's what I believe because God asks you to do things. Everything God's asked me to do, I've been like, you are a crazy person. Like literally you are nuts. Okay, I'll give you, I'll give you, um, I mean every single thing. So I, I [00:19:00] didn't even know if in my business, like I, I would've never been a coach if God didn't like tell me to do it.

[00:19:06] rhonda: Because I was actually owned my own PR company at the time, working with solo entrepreneurs and one of my clients was one of the first life coaches in the world. And, um, he would always tell me, Oh, you're going to be a better coach than me. And I was like, Hmm, let's see. I was an alcoholic in the past. I had three DUIs.

[00:19:25] rhonda: I tried to kill myself three times because of my horrific experience when I was 14. Uh, and I. Nobody's going to listen to me, uh, who wants to listen to like, Oh, hey, I'm an alcoholic. Oh, hey, I tried to kill myself three times. Oh, hey, I had three DUIs. I'm a really great role model. Come this way right now.

[00:19:43] rhonda: No, no, no. So I would look at him like he is insane. Right. And I would fight him. Right. When I was waitressing, I remember people told me I was funny, and I was like, I'm not funny. I would fight. I'd be like, I'm not funny. What are you crazy? My first job out of college, my boss said I was creative. [00:20:00] I'm like, I'm not creative.

[00:20:01] rhonda: I mean, I literally was like, you are nutso, right? Because that's how it really felt for me. So I'm in my clients, who the first life, one of the first life coaches in the world, and we're building his business, and I'm helping him. Do that. And um, we're sitting there talking. He's at the board. He's at the board.

[00:20:19] rhonda: And I'm sitting on the couch. I'm a brainstorming. And out of the sky a cloud comes with a book on it. And the book goes like this. Bluhbluhbluhbluhbluhbluhbluhbluhbluhbluhbluhbluhbluhbluhbluh. Shoots! Lays down on the cloud and goes back on the ceiling. Now you wanna talk about crazy nutso, right? Like, what just happened?

[00:20:40] rhonda: Um, I knew it wasn't for me, so I turned around to see if somebody had walked in. Nobody had walked in. So I'm like, what? I look at Paul, who's at the board, and he's still writing on the board. He has no, he didn't see it. And so I start, I had this realization that that message was meant for me and that message, well, the download I got was the answer to every [00:21:00] question I'd ever asked, as well as the assignment to know, go on, go out and teach this.

[00:21:05] rhonda: And I'm like, again, God, you're crazy. And I was just fortunate to have a appointment with my minister the next day. And I, and I didn't tell anybody, went, just waited for my minister, went to the minister, went, um, the sky opened up, a cloud came out, a book came out, uh, am I crazy? Like, what's happening? And she looks at me and she goes, well, you got the call.

[00:21:27] rhonda: And I'm like, the call? I didn't, no. I have to finish my bachelor's, go get a master's, get a PhD, and then I can write a book, like, I can do this in like seven to ten years. And she's like, Well, if you got the call, you're ready. No, no, you don't understand. I gotta finish my bachelor's, get a master's, get a Ph.

[00:21:43] rhonda: D. Then I'll write a book. And so seven to ten years. And she just kept saying, You got the call, you're ready. And it took me several months. Several, several months. To surrender to that because the image I had of myself or the belief I had about myself, [00:22:00] or was that I, me have no right to do this work. I have no right.

[00:22:07] rhonda: I have no, I have no right to do this. So for some of us, it's the sky opens up with a book. Some of us, it's a whisper on our shoulder. For some of us, it's synchronicity happening over and over and over again. But we all know if we get quiet and really ask ourselves, did we get the call? I bet most of us listening right now, the answer is yes.

[00:22:32] rhonda: Maybe you can't grasp it completely, but you know you're here for a reason. And you kind of know what the reason is, or maybe you really know what the reason is. And it's just scary to take that step, or that next step, or the next step, and that's normal. And yes, you are going to feel crazy. Because Wait a minute, there's no rules here.

[00:22:50] rhonda: There's only source. So I'm supposed to only do that? What? Right? So I get it. 

[00:22:59] shilpa: And [00:23:00] the idea that there's no rules, I often say to those who are patient enough to hear, they commiserate about the challenges of doing what I'm doing, because yeah, excuse my French, but I don't know what the F I'm always doing.

[00:23:14] shilpa: It's, it's, um, you don't have to. I sometimes have like, What now I understand. Okay, because I've always been so scientific that when I have these woohoo experiences. Yeah. Oh Okay, how did I know that like naming my company what it's named? It just was like one day. I'm sitting there I'm like, this is gonna be something some someday.

[00:23:37] shilpa: I'm gonna buy the domain name. Am I gonna be my company name? 

[00:23:42] rhonda: That's right. That's right. So, you know, you know, you already know And, you know, um, when this is the, I think the greatest gift we can give to ourselves, when we have that moment, like you did with your business name and [00:24:00] maybe somebody else listening, got it for what they're technically supposed to do, or where they're supposed to move or who they're supposed to marry, or, you know, when you have that moment of clarity, maybe you don't understand it, but that moment of clarity must become more important than any thing else, because the world will quickly.

[00:24:26] rhonda: Wrap around it and tell you you're crazy. That's that's nuts, you know, and if you tell anybody about it, it's like well that you don't have the money for that. You, you've never done that before. Who do you think you are? So we got to keep it close to our vest. And the most important thing is, can we make that moment of clarity, more real, real.

[00:24:53] rhonda: Then the mug I'm holding, can we make it more real in the mug? I'm holding. Can we make it more real [00:25:00] than our phone? Can we make it more real than this couch, right? Can we make it more real? Because when we court that, when we say that moment of clarity is more real than my doubts, my fears, my judgments. My fear then what happens is you can find your way through that, right?

[00:25:18] rhonda: You you will you will be guided and find your way through it So I want you to think of that moment that you got your business name as that is your most precious but is it like it's so precious and it is meant to be held and nurtured and Loved and adored and thanked and that connection to that moment We'll then open you up to another moment and another moment and another moment and another moment because God goes, Oh, she, Oh, she took that seriously.

[00:25:48] rhonda: Oh, okay. She, Oh, she, she got the website. Oh, okay. Now I can give her the next piece. So, we want to make that insight that aha that nudge that [00:26:00] quiet. Really, aha, what that more real than any of our fears, any of our worries, anything, anything else. 

[00:26:11] shilpa: I love that, especially because we live in a material world where the concrete.

[00:26:16] shilpa: Is often affecting what I know is part, it's part of my next question is it affects our self worth because while in corporate, I had the money while in corporate, I had the title while corporate, all these other things were there to validate me and I 

[00:26:33] rhonda: think 

[00:26:34] shilpa: that makes me cringe because I know better on a spiritual level.

[00:26:39] shilpa: But how do you, what kind of practices can you put into place? Because I still struggle. 

[00:26:47] rhonda: Well, let's put it this way. The spiritual, the spirit, soul spirit of you doesn't need validation, but the human does. I need validation. Uh, the difference between me and [00:27:00] many people is I asked for it. I actually asked for it.

[00:27:04] rhonda: So at the end of every single coaching session I have and every class I teach, every workshop I lead, I ask this one question, tell me the one thing you got out of our time together today because I want to make sure the time is invaluable to you. And this is also your gift to me. And then they tell me, Oh my God, right.

[00:27:25] rhonda: Then I'm like, okay, okay. Right. So on a human plane, many of us, not all of us, but many of us still need validation. That doesn't make us less spiritual. It just. Just embrace that just embrace like right now in my human form part of how God created me is I still at some level need validation Okay, you know, I've saved every single email I've ever received that thanked me or every single love note I've received every single every single card.

[00:27:59] rhonda: I've gotten in the [00:28:00] mail, you know when I was on starting over I used to get so many gifts and people would paint, you know paint my face I have every single one of those things And I have a lot of them hanging on my wall because it reminds me that I did, that I allowed God to use me enough that it moved somebody else to take action.

[00:28:23] rhonda: And it was God going, Hey, Rhonda, I know you need a little validation here, so I'm going to have them send a card to you. And I'm like, thank you, God. so much. Right. So, so it's, it's about not judging yourself from a spiritual plane, but really understanding that you are human on this human earth. And that your job is to follow spirit on that journey you are going to face.

[00:28:47] rhonda: Oh wow, I need validation. Great, go ask for it. Quit, quit going, I don't, I don't, I shouldn't need validation. Stop the conversation, just go ask for it. So it's our, I shouldn't be like this. [00:29:00] Or I'm not evolved enough. All these conversations that chip away at what we believe is our self worth. Our, our confidence, right?

[00:29:09] rhonda: So that's just something, an illusion that we've completely made up. So the next time you think, I shouldn't need this, well, you do, you do on this human plane. So instead of judging yourself, ask for it, move on, allow yourself to be loved. Allow yourself to take in that kindness. Allow yourself to just say, you know what I really need, am I good at this?

[00:29:34] rhonda: I still need, am I good at this? I'll call my best friend. I mean, I still have days where I'm like, I don't know, maybe I should just quit. But still, 30 years later, and my best friend and I've done this, you know, how many times, she knows what to do. I go, would you tell, and I say to her, would you tell me that I'm good at this?

[00:29:53] rhonda: Would you tell me that I need to keep going? And she will then pull up, [00:30:00] remember the time, blah, blah, blah. Remember the time, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, yeah, right. So we on a spiritual, on a spiritual journey, judge ourselves to Jesus or Buddha, or, you know, Krishnamati. Um, most of us aren't there yet. I'm not.

[00:30:22] rhonda: So maybe we're here to embrace the softness of our underbelly. And our softness of self and nurture ourselves and allow ourselves to need what we need and want what we want. And then when we take away that judgment, it opens up a new space to get more messages from source. Because we're not busy saying, I shouldn't do that.

[00:30:43] rhonda: Who do I think I am? I'm not evolved enough. That is not even God's criteria. 

[00:30:52] shilpa: It's interesting you should say then take away the judgment because one of the, I would say, um, characteristics [00:31:00] sounds like when we are being, yeah. Triggered by fear is judgment. 

[00:31:05] rhonda: Yes, that's right. 

[00:31:08] shilpa: I recognize judgment because I'm, I'm, I'm big on recognizing things.

[00:31:11] shilpa: It's part of my mindfulness training. It's like, I'll be sitting in meditation doing my mantra or my breath work. And there'll be something in the back lurking, that looping thing. And I'll be like, okay. I've had this trait, so to speak, since I was very young, before it came with me when I was born. Yep, 

[00:31:31] rhonda: that's right.

[00:31:32] shilpa: Like, I remember just being three or four years old, something had triggered me, and I was restless, and I'm like, what's the pattern here? I'm like, what am I, Einstein? I'm like three years old or four years old, but I would figure these things out. 

[00:31:44] Yes. 

[00:31:46] shilpa: So, when you talk about these, this judgment and The mental model of understanding fear.

[00:31:52] shilpa: I'm in awe because a part of me wants to ask you, how did you figure it [00:32:00] out? 

[00:32:00] rhonda: Well, God did, right? Right? God did. So, you know, what I did is I, you know, God, remember the ceiling and the book and the thing, right? It took me many months to start coaching after that, because again, I had to work through and break my perception of myself and say to myself, I can coach even because even, even though I had three DUIs, I can coach, even though this isn't even an industry, I can coach, even though I tried to kill myself three times, I can coach, even though my house looks like 1920s broken tile, right?

[00:32:36] rhonda: Like I can still coach because in my mind, my fear based mind, right? I couldn't because of those things, but maybe I meant to coach because of those things, right? Because of those things, I can coach because I had three DUIs, because I had three suicides, because I'm an alcoholic. Those are the reasons that God said, you coach Rhonda, you coach.

[00:32:59] rhonda: I hear [00:33:00] you. And so the opportunity we have is to look at ourselves and go, I was made, I was made, um, the way I am with my needs and wants, etc. And yeah, just like you said, it's created by the time you're six. Again, the wheel of fear and the wheel of freedom, what I call wheel of fear and wheel of freedom are created by the time you're five, five, six years old.

[00:33:21] rhonda: And oh, by the way, our fears may not be because of anything that happened in our own lives. They're already doing research on our fears are actually handed down through our DNA. Right. So when people come to me and they go, why, why, why am I like this? Right. And we talk about their wheel of fear, but they go, but why that wheel of fear?

[00:33:37] rhonda: It's like, it really doesn't matter. So many people go to therapy and go, why, why, why, why am I like this? It's like, well, because you have a wheel of fear and this wheel wheel of fear is yours based on your DNA, based on your experiences, based on, you know, your, where you lived lots of things, but to try to find one event that created your wheel of fear, not going to happen.

[00:33:59] rhonda: Not going to [00:34:00] happen. So once you can see through the eyes, like, am I in fear or am I in freedom? Then your judgment of your needs, your judgment of your wants, your judgments. Do you have a right judgments about your worth? So many people come to me and go, I have a self worth issue. I go, no, you don't. You have a fear issue.

[00:34:18] rhonda: You right now in our soul work, personal development work, every ad is almost like, are you fighting? You need to get your worth. You know, you have low self worth. You have to, it's literally. Pound into us that we have low self-worth. Well, the next time you think you have low self-worth, tell yourself it is not about worth.

[00:34:41] rhonda: It's about I have a fear issue. A fear issue, and I haven't done the work in order to see it so I can move past it. Because that's the key. Once you see it, it can't be unseen, right? So every time you label yourself, oh, I have low self-confidence, oh, I have low self-esteem, oh, I have low worth. You're focused on the [00:35:00] the wrong thing.

[00:35:01] rhonda: Again, I get it, suit yourself as a human being, right, go get a hug, you know, write a love letter to yourself, go take a nice shower, get a sauna, right, like take care of yourself, nurture yourself in those moments, and know that all of that is an illusion. And if you work on your understanding how fear works, you're going to see why that was triggered.

[00:35:23] rhonda: You're going to understand what happened in that moment, why this new trigger is coming up, and why you're feeling low self worth or low self confidence. So the wheel of fear has four components, and one is the trigger, your core fear, and then it goes into fear responses, which I read to you some of the fear responses, and everybody knows their fear response.

[00:35:42] rhonda: Everybody knows what they do that they wish they didn't do, right? And some of us call it character flaws. Right? Some of us call our weaknesses. Some of us call it our ABC. And when we do those things, people please, perfectionism, procrastination, overwhelm, anxious, etc., [00:36:00] judge. When we do that, we are actually, fear tells us that if we do those things, it will help us avoid feeling guilty, feeling bad, feeling, right?

[00:36:12] rhonda: But you and I both know that doesn't actually work. So, when we do those fear responses, we're going to end up falling into what I call our core negative feeling. And all of us have felt our core negative feeling my core negative I'll name mine because the wheel of fear is personalized and unique. So yours is going to be different than mine.

[00:36:31] rhonda: My core fear, actually my core fear, the trigger is loser. And mind you, I've never been called a loser in my life. I was a straight A student got a full ride to college was class president. I was never called a loser, but that is the underlying way fear traps me, you know, so if I get triggered by judgment procrastination, I say to myself now, okay.

[00:36:53] rhonda: I'm afraid to look like a loser. I'm afraid to be perceived as a loser. I'm afraid to be ABC as a loser. What is it I'm doing right now? What [00:37:00] risk am I taking? What risk am I even thinking about taking? I'm not even taking it yet, but I'm thinking about it. Fear gets, you know, comes up and goes, Aha! Gotta stop that thinking, because you might pray to do it, right?

[00:37:11] rhonda: So, loser is mine, then I go up to my fear responses and act out. Do all my, you know, cross nation, overwhelm, judging. When I do that, I fall into my core negative feeling, which for me is worthless. So I feel worthless. And then when I, Rhonda Britton, feel worthless, I go into my self destructive behaviors, which again, we all know are self destructive behaviors.

[00:37:32] rhonda: It could be, it could be our fear response is, you know, six cookies and our self destructive is eating a pint of ice cream. And then that only solidifies fear's need to keep us safe, i. e. Got to, got to keep her from looking, feeling, seeing, being, being seen as a loser. Well, if I people please, they don't think I'm a loser, they think I'm awesome, right?

[00:37:56] rhonda: So our fear responses also get us love, get us [00:38:00] approval, et cetera. And then anywhere on that wheel of fear that I recognize myself, I can choose to jump onto my wheel of freedom. And your wheel of freedom is the thing that literally helps you to become, to embody your authentic self. You're the reason you are here, the essence of who you are and the essence of who you are on your wheel of fear, what we call essential nature is that part of you cut off by the time you were five because it wasn't safe, i.

[00:38:31] rhonda: e. whether it's through DNA, environment, et cetera. So we want to hop on and re gather, re claim that part of ourself we left behind. Because I want you to think of it as like a missing piece. It's like the key to unlock all of our true nature. And then we do proactive behaviors, we move into wholeness, and then we move into self affirming behavior.

[00:38:52] rhonda: So, there's a whole process that once you understand it, it takes away the need [00:39:00] to beat yourself up to keep you under fierce spell. Instead, the minute you beat yourself up, you know that you're, you're on your wheel of fear and you go, Oh, there I am on my wheel of fear. Okay, what do I need to do? Oh, I need to get on my wheel of freedom.

[00:39:12] rhonda: Okay, let's go over there. That make sense? 

[00:39:16] shilpa: Oh, yeah, absolutely. I'm really appreciating the nuances, especially knowing that Once you've identified or become aware through these different techniques or in intellectually, it could be through some subtle work that I often do through meditation, but just becoming more aware allows you to then make that conscious decision.

[00:39:39] shilpa: Shift to the wheel of freedom. Now, I imagine it's like a cyclical thing. You're like, for my, like, constantly, you have to, like, I know that I have to catch certain things constantly. 

[00:39:52] rhonda: That's right. That's right. And just like you said earlier, you said, well, then there's action. You mentioned the word action earlier.

[00:39:58] rhonda: It's like, yeah, you got to do [00:40:00] something on your wheel of freedom, right? You got to, got to do something. And, you know, whether it's meditation, whether it's saying no, whether it's. Again, depending on what your wheel of fear is, uh, freedom is my wheel of freedom and my essential nature is authenticity. And when I was 12 years old, I was reading self help books and the book, the self help book I read when I was 12 years old was why am I afraid to tell you who I am?

[00:40:31] rhonda: And my favorite quote was from E. E. Cummings, which I'm going to butcher right now is, you know, the journey to be your true self is the hardest journey you'll ever do, right? So my whole life I've admired people that are authentic. I have yearned to be authentic. But the wheel of fear had me tricked believing that if I was authentic, then everybody would know I was a loser.

[00:40:54] rhonda: So the very thing I yearned to be, the very thing I died to be, was the very [00:41:00] thing I could not be, according to the wheel of fear. So I faked my way through high school and college, you know? Especially after the horrific situation when I was 14 years old, the horrific day I had, right? And changed the trajectory of my life, like I had to hide that person, I had to hide my true nature.

[00:41:20] rhonda: And And I wasn't conscious of it. I wasn't consciously aware. I mean, I'm not 16 years old thinking I'm hiding myself, right? But I knew I wasn't safe. I knew that I had to keep my thoughts to myself. I knew that, right, ABC. So, the very thing that I craved to be, and the thing I admired the most when I would read philosophy or spiritual books, etc.,

[00:41:44] rhonda: with somebody who could be their true nature, is the very thing I denied myself on my Wheel of Fear. 

[00:41:51] shilpa: Now, that is so profound, and I really tuned into the word, Authentic. Um, one of those hits, just [00:42:00] like the hit I had to create my company a few months ago. And all this kind of came together, just felt magical.

[00:42:07] I decided, 

[00:42:08] shilpa: um, I would launch a series of services called Amplify Authentically. And it just really deeply touched my heart. And while I have a podcast and I've often been good with public speaking. There are moments where I can't even get my voice out and the idea of really figuring out the authentic Shilpa and amplifying it.

[00:42:38] shilpa: So that service, just like the company came from, not because it's a cool, trendy influencer thing to do. That's 

[00:42:44] rhonda: right. 

[00:42:45] shilpa: It's from my heart. It's what I want to get better at. 

[00:42:48] rhonda: That's right. That's right. And I'll, I'll say this, whenever I'm going through a huge energetic change, a huge spiritual evolutionary change, moment in my life.[00:43:00] 

[00:43:00] rhonda: Part of what happens to me during those times is I can't speak. I can't pray. I, you know, normally I'm an awesome prayer and speaker, you know, right. But when I'm going through a big change, my prayers are like, dear God. Okay. Um, love you. I mean it. See you later. Right. Like they're so plain and no passion, no connection.

[00:43:28] rhonda: And the same happens in my writing and everything. So I really believe, and I've seen this with my clients, that when we're going through an evolutionary change, there are things that we, that come easy to us. Or that we think, well, what, you know, I can do this, but it also, it all of a sudden becomes hard to do it when we're making that change.

[00:43:49] rhonda: And once you understand, like, oh, I'm going through a change, because now when it happens, I go, oh, I'm going through a change. So I'm no longer afraid of what's happening or worried it's happening. I [00:44:00] instead, I'm like, Ooh, wonder what's going to happen on the other side of this, right? Like, Ooh, this is going to be so exciting.

[00:44:04] rhonda: So when I find myself, uh, giving faulty prayers and, you know, tripping over myself, where I go now is, Oh my God, this is gonna be so good. This is so good. I'm so excited for the next place I, place I discover myself. So once you understand how you really operate and how you really work on your wheel of fear and will freedom, then when something kind of scary happens.

[00:44:32] rhonda: You, like, why can't I pray and why is my meditation suck right now? And why can't I, why don't I have an ambition? And why do I feel like laying in bed and I'm not depressed, but you know, why do I have this? All of a sudden, all those why's and that past, past pattern of beating ourselves up and judging ourselves, blaming ourselves or shaming ourselves now can be just attributed like, Oh, I'm going through, I'm [00:45:00] going through a shift.

[00:45:03] rhonda: And how I'll be on the other side is going to be different. So I must go through this tunnel that seems that I'm disconnected from Source. Because when I go through a dark night, I feel completely disconnected from Source. And so it's like, okay, I'm disconnected. I know I'm not, but that's how it feels.

[00:45:24] rhonda: And I just focus on, on the other side, it's going to be really good, so I just need to move through this. And how do I care for myself deeply, love myself deeply, while I'm disconnected? Rather than shaming, blaming, and beating myself up. Or like thinking I did something wrong, but I'm disconnected. No, you're being disconnected because you're getting plugged into a whole other state of being, a whole other You know, I don't want to say level, but for lack of a better word, level.

[00:45:51] rhonda: So you're disconnected while you're getting re plugged in. 

[00:45:55] shilpa: Yeah, you know, like, a flood of words and concepts came to my mind when you were [00:46:00] describing this phenomenon. Whether it's because of my own life experience or what have you, but like, sort of that phase you described as like, feeling stuck, but then Kind of healing, but yet feeling sort of intellectually not sure why the healing must be really taking place when you know you're, at least for myself, sometimes feeling disconnected from source.

[00:46:31] shilpa: It just almost contradicts one another. 

[00:46:34] rhonda: Yes, you think, yeah, because you're when you're feeling like, oh, I want to get in those moments you want to be more connected. Right. It's like, no, I need to lean on God more. It's like, yeah, but he's, he's got you. Here she whatever you want to call it. They've got you so you may feel alone or in a cave or dark right like you have to remember Mother Teresa felt like this for 25 years.

[00:46:58] rhonda: You know, she was [00:47:00] disconnected, she didn't feel God for over two decades. But what did she do she kept doing her work because she knew she was in the right place, God had given her this assignment. She didn't then doubt her job. She just wanted to feel God again. But God goes, yeah, I'm going to keep you in the desert over here for whatever reason, God has its reasons.

[00:47:22] rhonda: And instead of saying, I guess I'm unworthy to keep doing my job. Mother Teresa said, no, I'm doubling down. And here's a woman who felt disconnected from God for two decades and became and worked with the poor and homeless and the streets of Calcutta and became one of the most powerful women in the world and had nothing.

[00:47:45] shilpa: You must have intuitively understood where my heart was going with the next question because I thought to myself, like, because I was embarrassed for myself. I'm like, well, how long did this dark phase last? Um, for me, it [00:48:00] lasted a long time. I feel like I'm finally coming out of it. It was sort of all coincided with leaving corporate but not having left yet.

[00:48:09] shilpa: Being in a really, and still am, in a very happy marriage. With a young, at the time, now he's over 10 years old, baby, and then very, um, tragically, suddenly losing my mom, and then transitioning slowly out of corporate, and all of that to now, um, still building this business. And it's been like, I've used this metaphor with people that feel like I have, um, blinders on and I'm like in the dark, but somehow feeling my way, a lot of it's, 

[00:48:51] rhonda: yeah, you can't rely.

[00:48:52] rhonda: You cannot rely on the old you now you still have all the skills and tools, which is awesome. [00:49:00] Um, yeah, so when I was younger, I was an actress and all I wanted to do was be on TV or movies. That's all I wanted to do. Ever since I was a little tiny girl, I wanted to be an actress. And when I was in my early thirties, I remember that I wasn't turned on as I used to be.

[00:49:19] rhonda: The more work I was getting, the less I wanted to act. And I remember really struggling with the idea that maybe I didn't want to act anymore. And so I would ask my friends, Oh, do you, do you think of acting all the time? And they're like, yeah. And I'm like, I don't, I don't do that. And so I came to the very harsh awareness.

[00:49:42] rhonda: That was, it was devastating for me, uh, that I no longer wanted to be an actress and I quit acting. And, and I said to myself, I no longer want to play a character I want, I don't even know who I am. So when I was in my early thirties, I set out on a journey to know myself. Now, [00:50:00] remember, I had all the skills.

[00:50:01] rhonda: I did TV, I did movies, I did a whole bunch of things, went in the darkness. Who am I supposed to be? I come out the other side, you know, years later with the cloud and the whole thing and come out the other side and, you know, years go by and I do what I do today. So now, um, I've been doing what I do today.

[00:50:20] rhonda: Let's say this was 1995 is when I started my business. In the year 2000, 2001, my first book came out, Fearless Living, and I'm in Europe. I'm in England and London doing the, doing a book signing. And the, uh, my publicist there said, Ronda, they're trying to create a reality shift, a coach, coach changing lives, and they've been auditioning for nine months, and they don't have anybody.

[00:50:42] rhonda: Would you, they want to know if you want to, you know, audition, give a screen test. Now there was no reality show. There was no such thing as reality TV at this moment. There was, there was, there was no reality television in 2001. And there was no life coach reality television show. [00:51:00] So I said, of course I do.

[00:51:02] rhonda: So the next day I go and give a screen test. And three weeks later, I'm living in London. And I think to myself, wow, God really knew what he was doing because he used my ego of thinking being an actress will save me from something, right? Like, oh, I'll just be famous and then I won't have to deal with life, right?

[00:51:20] rhonda: That's like, that was my way out of my fear, what fear told me. And so while I was an actress and doing all that from a place of Trying to protect myself. I learned how to work with the camera. I learned how to do that. I learned everything I needed and during those years, I prayed for a series. I prayed for a series.

[00:51:39] rhonda: And then when I quit acting, that prayer went away, but the skills didn't just like your skills didn't. And then when I am now the first life coach on TV in the world, doing the first reality show in the world, that was easy, right? Because I already had all the skills. I had everything I needed and now I [00:52:00] had the coaching skills as well as all the skills to be comfortable on TV.

[00:52:05] rhonda: So when people are going through that dark time, you still have all your skills. You still have all your tools. Oh, by the way, God wanted you in corporate America for a certain period of time because you needed certain skills that you're going to need now as you move forward. So we don't want to throw the baby out with the bath water.

[00:52:22] rhonda: We actually want to go, okay, what skills do I have? Well, I don't want to go in corporate America again. It doesn't matter that you're not, not to give a job, think of, think of the skills. So then you just write all the skills down all the skills you have because those skills you are going to need in your next evolution.

[00:52:39] rhonda: So I went on to do 600 episodes of television. And, you know, it's like what? Right. So, and that was all because, you know, I surrendered my need to act that that dream I let that dream go. I didn't have another dream yet, didn't substitute it. I [00:53:00] wandered around for five years like, well, what do I do? Right.

[00:53:03] rhonda: And then finally, uh, unfolding, uh, into who I am today. So for everybody who is listening, whether you're, if you're a mother, you have skills. If you've done the PTA, you have skills. If you've been in corporate America, you have skills. If you've been married, you have skills. If you've been divorced, you have skills.

[00:53:24] rhonda: You know, you have so many skills. And so if we can just remove job titles and just think of skills, then the world opens up for you. And then you can use any of your skills anywhere you'd like. 

[00:53:37] shilpa: Again, you know, you hit something very intuitively. I even have a course I created and work, um, a series of classes I would teach called Second Act.

[00:53:47] shilpa: And it was a very concept that you have a portfolio that will be available to you. That's right. And like you said, like, I, I used to wonder, I'm like, well, [00:54:00] you know, I have all these degrees. I have all those experience. What am I going to do? Well, it turns out I've mostly been using all the techie stuff to build this business and soft skills for other areas.

[00:54:11] shilpa: That's right. I love that. That's right. Because a lot of women who listen to my podcast, they want to make that pivot or transition. And it's about the skills that they need to be reminded that they have. 

[00:54:24] rhonda: That's right, and a good exercise is to write them all down, and if you're not sure what you're meant to do in this world, you know, make one list of all the things, all the skills you have, not titles, not titles, not titles, skills, skills, skills, skills, skills.

[00:54:36] rhonda: That are transfer, transfer, transversal, that word that I'm trying to get out that I can't, um, and then make another list of all the things you love. Start keeping track of everything you love. And I mean, I love smelling flowers. I love gardening. I love lighting candles. You know, I love sushi. You know, I don't care what it is, but just energetically [00:55:00] tapping in to the things you love.

[00:55:03] rhonda: I promise you, I've done this for so many people. When I look at your love list and I look at your skill set, it is very obvious what you, quote unquote, is meant for you to do. And so the more you surrender to that love list and surrender to that skill list, it will pop up for you too. It'll pop up for everybody listening too.

[00:55:24] rhonda: Um, so I really invite everyone to, uh, take away their identity of job title like you, like we started out today. Um, letting go of that job title and looking at yourself as a whole person and looking at yourself as a whole person with skills. And then those skills can either be used in the service of fear or freedom.

[00:55:42] rhonda: They can either be used by the wheel of fear, or they can be used by the wheel of freedom. And that is your choice each and every moment. But the more awake you are, the more choice you have. If you're not awake, not a lot of choice. And you don't know what's going on. 

[00:55:57] shilpa: I, um, I could easily talk to you for [00:56:00] several hours, but there's a couple of things I just wanted to really hit on before I segue to wrap up about this concept of fearless heart, especially it will be Valentine weekend and weekend.

[00:56:15] shilpa: There's a lot of, um, I would say faith or hope people have for things to come in their lives. 

[00:56:24] Yes. 

[00:56:25] shilpa: Yes. Yes. I, I want you to go into that, but if you could, there's a burning question I have in my heart. It's something you would already address in the beginning about spirit and being spirit led. But could you speak to learning to identify those moments of serendipity and insights and intuition?

[00:56:47] shilpa: Because often, like we've talked about through this conversation, but it, it helps having that little bread, having that serendipity. And am I on the right path? Will things get better? [00:57:00] Um, and what, what can we start leaning into and also, uh, knowing that there's something bigger than us that's at play? Yes, 

[00:57:15] rhonda: yes.

[00:57:16] rhonda: Yeah, well we're all, you know, I believe in destiny. And I believe that we're all here for a reason and whether you believe that or not, um, you know, that's a choice you're going to make, but I believe that and maybe I need to believe that, right? Maybe I need to believe that, you know, because my mother died when I was 14 at the hand of my father.

[00:57:36] rhonda: Maybe I need to believe that, that that happened for a reason, right? So that's how I look at my life is I know that I am on the trail of destiny. And it's not my business, not your business, not my business, what that destiny unfolds to. But what I do know is that when you have that moment of clarity, like I [00:58:00] said earlier, and you make that more real than anything, it is way easier to follow the breadcrumbs and see the breadcrumbs.

[00:58:10] rhonda: And, you know, I know like, so I got, God gave me something recently. And I absolutely know without a shadow of a doubt that that is my future. Like God's going, Oh, by the way, what's going to happen is this. So just so you know, it's coming and I'm like, okay, right. I can't make it come faster. I can't tell God, you know, I can't make it faster.

[00:58:34] rhonda: It might be five years away, but that gives me solace, right? That gives me solace. And I go, okay, that's happening. And my job is to, am I on a human plane, physically taking action towards that thing that's unfolding already? It's already unfolding. And am I on the train or not on the train, right? So that's one of the things we got to get on the train.

[00:58:57] rhonda: So that's why I say those moments of clarity, even if they're [00:59:00] just like a whisper. Sometimes I don't even know it's the form. It's just, there's something there. And I go, okay, okay, there's something there. Okay. And then I do, you can ask God, God, you know what? I need a billboard. Okay. I need a really big billboard or I need five people to tell me something.

[00:59:17] rhonda: Um, I had a client get this. She, she's a nurse. She was a nurse. And she kept on getting the nudge that she was meant to be a chaplain and be on the other side of the bed in the hospitals. She had three little kids. She was broke, living in a trailer. She couldn't, like, there was no way she was going to pay for chaplain school.

[00:59:36] rhonda: Like, it was, it was going to be like a hard road. And so she was in the mountains at a retreat and she asked God in the middle of summer, middle of summer, and she asked God, God, if you really want me to be a chaplain, if you, if you really want me to shift. I need snow. I need it to snow. [01:00:00] That night it snowed in the middle of summer at a retreat.

[01:00:07] rhonda: Now, some of us don't get the snow when we ask for it. It might be more subtle than that,

[01:00:18] rhonda: but God will reassure you and you must keep taking action or keep, I don't even say cultivating or, or, you know, uh, courting it. You must be courting it. You must give it worth and value. You must believe you must decide to believe it. And then you take the action needed and necessary that you know you're meant to take, you know, it may not get you all the way there, but as long as you're courting it, and as long as you're building a relationship with that thing, that subtle hint you got, then it gets stronger and stronger and stronger over time.

[01:00:59] rhonda: So [01:01:00] some of us get, God tells us like, Hey, you're going to do this, this and this, but most of us don't. So, and I don't, I don't get, I don't get like, Oh Rhonda, by the way, you're going to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. No, God doesn't do that. But he gives me a knob because she gives me a knob. That I know there's something in my future that I am meant to become the best me I can be, be more loving to myself, be more open to myself, be more fearless, be, live in my freedom, because God needs me in order to fulfill my mission that he is giving me my destiny.

[01:01:31] rhonda: I need to live on my will of freedom and be my authentic self, because it doesn't need the fake Rhonda. It doesn't need the Rhonda who's afraid. Again, am I going to be that way sometimes? Sure. God needs me to be as fearless as I can be. So, I invite you, if you've gotten the nudge. And if you're, if you're listening to my voice right now and think, well, I don't know if I have, I kind of have, but I'm not sure if you [01:02:00] kind of have, you have, you're just doubting it.

[01:02:03] rhonda: So if you kind of have, or you've had this insight or this aha, but you shut it down, open it up again. So I believe, I mean, even being here today, if you're listening to my voice, you're listening to a podcast, this is part of your sign, right? We have all heard that this is part of your sign. So just know that.

[01:02:27] rhonda: There is a wind at your back and you are being ushered forward and your job is to focus on the ushering and the courting rather than how it's not happening. You're meant to focus on how it is happening, and whether that's a smile from a stranger, whether that's, uh, you know, the perfect numbers, whether that's, you know, a sign, some sort of sign, uh, or whether it's just an assurance in your heart that you're the one that gets to do that, [01:03:00] right?

[01:03:00] rhonda: You're, God, you know, and, and if you're listening to my voice, we've all heard this phrase, it's not over until it's over, and if it's not over, then all will be well, right? So if you're still alive, it's not over. And if it's not over, you, it'll be well, it'll be fine. You'll be great. It'll be, it'll all unfold.

[01:03:18] rhonda: Most magnet. You'll be shocked looking back in hindsight. You'll be shocked at how it unfolded. So enjoy the ride and become masterful over your awareness. So you don't get caught and sidetracked. And oh, by the way, speaking of this, I just remembered. I am actually teaching. So I teach a class called fearless living transformation program.

[01:03:42] rhonda: And I'm actually teaching that live at the end of February. And I teach it live a few times a year, so if that opens your heart, if you want to learn all about fear, join me for two days, the last weekend, I think 22nd, 23rd of February, join me, and you'll get to know what the wheel of fear is, wheel of [01:04:00] freedom is, you'll get to know my whole process and my tools and all the things that I give to my clients in two days.

[01:04:06] shilpa: I was saying that this is great because this will air before the end of February, so I will make sure the show notes have it. Um, because I, I know for myself I would be interested, and my audience would be interested. To wrap up though, because it's the week of Valentine's, Yeah.

[01:04:25] shilpa: Along the lines of a fearless heart, whether it's in relationships or work, what does it mean to have a fearless heart, to invite and cultivate a deep self love, confidence, both in business and life? And maybe, um, someone is looking for that special someone. What would you say to that person? 

[01:04:45] This 

[01:04:46] rhonda: is what I invite you to do.

[01:04:48] rhonda: I want you to ask yourself, are you willing to love yourself more than be adored, respected, needed by another? Are you willing to love yourself more [01:05:00] than your desire to be adored, respected, needed by another? Is your, are you treating yourself exquisitely? And that doesn't mean self indulgence, by the way.

[01:05:15] rhonda: Because what I know to be true, another client, this is what happened to, what happened to another client just a week ago. I, okay now, so this client has had neck surgery, back surgery multiple times, has to use a walker now, she's 64. And, um, so she's, you know, she has medical issues, right? And she's been wanting love.

[01:05:44] rhonda: She has a boyfriend. And he doesn't care that she's a worker. He doesn't care one bit. He thinks she's amazing. And he doesn't care that she's had three back surgeries and two neck surgeries and that she's a [01:06:00] fragile, you know, like she, you know, she needs to be treated fragile, you know, fragile, right? He thinks she's awesome and amazing.

[01:06:08] rhonda: And this is the key for her. So, I teach writing, some writing classes. And she's been always wanting to write a book on grief. And this past year, she started working on her book. Her, her destiny is to write this book. And she's wanted to do it for 20 years. And she's finally doing it! Well, when she finally stepped onto her authentic path, her path that is meant for her,

[01:06:43] rhonda: you know why? Because you're on your path. Now the people that are meant to be with you on this path can see you. Be willing to be seen. And be willing to make movements no matter how small and start affirming that you are on your path because [01:07:00] as you start taking action that is true in alignment with yourself, your energy shifts and you attract different people and you attract different opportunities and all of a sudden you're going to be in a relationship.

[01:07:11] rhonda: Shockingly, it'll be shocking to you. And you'll look back and go, Oh, it was because I took that step. It wasn't a big step, but I shifted my energy field when I took that step because it was more true to myself. So that's the purpose of us unfolding into our true authentic nature. Is when we're on our path, we're meeting the people that are meant for us.

[01:07:35] rhonda: And the opportunities that are meant for us. And you know, it doesn't have to be, you know, pushing a rock up a hill. It can be a lot easier. But it's really hard when you're on somebody else's path and not on yours. So to open your heart, fall into yourself, fall into yourself. I invite you to write a massive love letter to yourself today.

[01:07:57] rhonda: Dear self, dear Sally, dear Rhonda, [01:08:00] dear, you know, whatever your name is, and just talk about the exquisite being that you are and how brave you are and how courageous you are and how, how giving you are and how loving you are and how kind you are and how courageous you are. Write a 100 percent love note to yourself.

[01:08:17] rhonda: And then after that love note, if you feel moved, write a manifesto. And then read those every day. And I know you'll naturally start following on your path easily and more effortlessly. I know that to be true. 

[01:08:31] shilpa: That's so beautiful and so eloquent. Well, thank you, Rhonda. I hope I can bring you back with that. Of 

[01:08:38] rhonda: course. I love part two and part three. 

[01:08:41] shilpa: Powerful. Powerful. There's so many deeper areas I can go into. 

[01:08:46] rhonda: Yeah. And I would love to gift something to your, to your listeners.

[01:08:50] rhonda: Go to fearlessliving. org, fearlessliving. org forward slash risk, R I S K. And I'm going to gift you one of my client's favorite tools called [01:09:00] stretch, risk, or die. And it helps cure procrastination. And I also talk about the wheel of fear and there's three 15 minute videos, workbooks, worksheets, makes it super easy.

[01:09:10] rhonda: And, uh, if you have a goal, a dream you want to make, this, this, this tool will totally help you. So go to fearlessliving. org forward slash risk, R I S K. And then if you decide to take a bigger step, join me for the weekend, Fearless Living Transformation Program. 

[01:09:23] shilpa: This is wonderful, Rhonda. Everything will be in the show notes and I am so grateful for you.

[01:09:29] shilpa: Thank you. Thank you. I could easily talk another hour, but I, you, you, you segued and wrapped it up beautifully for this Valentine week. 

[01:09:38] rhonda: And there's nothing wrong with you. It's just fear. There's nothing wrong with you. It's just fear. You're worth loving. 

[01:09:45] shilpa: Thank you.